30DaysWild- signing a pledge to have an interaction of some kind with nature everyday for 30 days.

Seemed like my kinda thing when I signed up – and I think I have managed to stay at least within the spirit of the idea.

However, if I am honest I did expect more from myself! I was expecting it to propel me out of the door,  to walk the dog every day and come back with photos and inspiration for writing about all the things I’d  encountered and experienced.

But then again, that was kinda what this blog was supposed to do. But sometimes, alot of the time lately, depression seems to be getting in the way!

So, I thought I would summarise what I have managed to accomplish in this first week:

Monday 1st June – Today I went out and strolled around the garden. Sat a while and listened to the bees huming and watched as they visited the flowers. Later, from indoors, I watched the birds through the window. Binoculars at hand to get a closer look if needs be, I watched the finches at the feeders, and the sparrows and blackbirds foraging in the flower borders. I watched the blue tits, the great tits and the coal tits all coming in to feed on the fat cakes and the wood pigeons strutting about the lawn, hoovering up anything edible they can find.

Tuesday 2nd June – Unable to sleep, by 3am  I was stood outside the back door waiting  to hear the dawn chorus. A real 30DaysWild moment, and yet it is something I do often when I have trouble sleeping. Allowing myself to get totally emmersed, loosing myself in the vast expanse of sky.  The stars on the canvas of black and smothering blue can leave you dizzy if you stare at them for too long.Watching as the light slowly starts to lighten the sky. Bringing my gaze down I take in the silhouette of the trees, standing out even blacker than the sky. But the dawn brings a different kind of light. At first just lighter shades of dark, but then colours can be defined. First just the browns of trees and fences, then the greens of leaves and grass, the reds and greys of bricks and rocks.  Being aware of the air as it stirs through the branches. Joined by the birds, quietly at first but getting louder,  as the sun illuminates the sky with pink and gold, and more and more voices join the celebration of the arrival of a new day.

Wednesday 3rd June – Today I had a 4 mile run through our local Country Park. It had been booked some time ago (part of a series of runs I have signed up to do). But this one was close to home – this was my local park, where the dog and I walk. This one was special! I felt comfortable and at home running here, the familiarity of the surroundings helping me to shut everything else out. Just me, and the challenge to keep running – the trees, the birdsong and the familiar tracks seemed to be urging me on.

Thursday 4th June – With my anxiety rising, for no real reason that I could descern, a noisy visit  from the magpies and crows to the garden caught my attention today. Like someone plucking on a guitar string, my nerves vibrated and jangled. But this was no resonant tune, this was a harsh clamour and shriek of discord. At first I could not quite discern who was chasing whom, both having nests high up in the leylandii at the bottom of my neighbours garden. The appearance of a young magpie revealed the explanation for  the ruckus. Later in the day I went for a run which took me down tree lined lanes, passed fields of tall grass and wild flowers. Through muddy puddles and clouds of midges and gnats, but all in the soft evening light of the setting sun.

Friday 5th June – Today was a difficult day. Motivation was low and I struggled to do very much at all. I went briefly into the garden, up to the top where I am trying to grow country cottage borders of wild flowers. The hawthorn is in flower, tinged pink, but the lilac flowers are finished for this year. The ground elder is rampant, and the speedwell seems to be trumping the forget-me-nots. The teasel have shot up, but it is too early for flowers on those yet. It is the ox-eye daisies, the aqualiegia and the campion which are bringing in the bees at the moment. I wait with baited breath for the pink of the corm cockles and the cosmos, the blue of the corn flowers and the campanula and the gold of the corn marigolds and the rudbeckia. And, of course, the purple of the budleighia.

Saturday 6th June – Headed off to Cannock Chase this morning, to cheer on the runners in the Chase Challenge. Whilst waiting to cheer them past the finish line I took a short walk, taking the time to watch the chaffinches and the pied wagtails along the edge of the path, and the swallows as they skimmed over the fields.

Sunday 7th June – Did some planting in the front garden and later the dog and I took a brisk walk to Granville. The sun was shining and we retraced the route I had run earlier in the week, hoping to rekindle some of the energy and peace I encountered whilst running. I found a beautiful sculpture by one of the entrances, I haven’t ever noticed it there before, but had not taken my camera so was unable to get a picture at the time.

Monday 8th June – Really struggled to get anything done today, best I could manage was to get a shower. I desperately wanted to walk the dog – but it simply didn’t happen. I had also wanted to go into town to pick up more bird seed, but that didn’t happen either! Despite the beautiful sunshine I just didn’t seem able to get myself out through the front door. I did manage to watch the birds in the garden, through the window. The Goldfinches have fledged, the juveniles were down feeding with the adults. Despite the beautiful sunshine streaming through my window, and the perfect reason to get outside, I can feel the weight of the depression crushing all the joy out of everything at the moment.

Tuesday 9th June- today I wrote this blog!